some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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