how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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