Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
