if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
