I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
