Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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