no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
