Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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