did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
