adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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