who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
