I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
