Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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