dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
someone owes me an orgasm
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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