Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
