If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
