Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
