I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
