i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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