Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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