Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
