Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
