EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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