you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
