Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
