My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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