he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
