My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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