Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
