i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i've created a new STD.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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