So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
