he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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