if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
