Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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