There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
