she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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