you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
