NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
