My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
