She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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