i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
