Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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