so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
