come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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