I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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