when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
