Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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