I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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