I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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