Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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